Event:
Family Corporation Meeting
Here and Now:
Last night, I watched Joni and Dr Doug's Love's Miracle and I was disappointed with it because even though she was a widow on 2021 and married on 2023, the Doctor was only divorced on 2022 and married the very next year. And I looked at their wedding video and saw that it can be love but I saw a lot of lust from them both. I don't see it is pure love. I sinned against it because I judged it and I asked forgiveness from GOD. I began to understand that the waiting that GOD is putting me through with Stephen is also purifying the love I have for him because when I hurry things up, love is lust, but when I have to wait, love is purified and made perfect. GOD had actually spoken to me about the wedding video that I had stumbled upon. So I still read my Bible that night and was so surprised to see GOD has been talking to me in that day's reading because yesterday I have been wrestling with GOD again saying, I am in pain because YOU keep telling me something that will not happen. Are you lying to me again? Of course these are grave questions that could hurt GOD but I was not afraid to ask because I have believed GOD before and let go of the things that could not happen...but yesterday I never got to read 1 Samuel in the morning because I reserve some reading at night and only at night after much of my questions that I learned GOD's faithful response in 1 Samuel 15:29 And also the Strength of Israel will not lie nor relent. For He is not a man, that He should relent.”
I want to relent from my faith, from believing from praying because I feel that it is hurting me more than I want it to, but GOD is saying, you may relent from being faithful, but I will not. Berean translation says: Moreover, the Glory of Israel does not lie or change His mind, for He is not a man, that He should change His mind.” I want to change my mind already yesterday, I was telling GOD, LORD my husband doesn't have to be Stephen it can be somebody else because he is a difficult person anyway. But GOD is saying through these translation you can change your mind but I won't. It's a done deal. And this time I don't know how to react, but I would rather change my mind so that I don't have to feel so much pain waiting. And HE will change my heart in the right time because this is my prayer, that I will not love him yet while it is not yet time. For how long should I keep believing in something that will not happen again, just so GOD could steal some time with me??? But HE is making me understand that GOD can regret choosing a man to be my king who have proven themselves to be unworthy because they cannot stand in HIS WORD, but just like Samuel, HE can also chose someone else to replace those who do not stand with HIM, and it was David, Stephen is my David, while I am Samuel who mourns praying for people yes that's me - just like Jeremiah
SOAP
Scriptures
Ezekiel 12
24 For there shall be no more any false vision or flattering divination within the house of Israel. 25 For I am the Lord; I will speak the word that I will speak, and it will be performed. It will no longer be delayed, but in your days, O rebellious house, I will speak the word and perform it, declares the Lord God.”
26 And the word of the Lord came to me: 27 “Son of man, behold, they of the house of Israel say, ‘The vision that he sees is for many days from now, and he prophesies of times far off.’ 28 Therefore say to them, Thus says the Lord God: None of my words will be delayed any longer, but the word that I speak will be performed, declares the Lord God.”
Habakkuk 2:1-20
English Standard Version
1 I will take my stand at my watchpost and station myself on the tower, and look out to see what he will say to me, and what I will answer concerning my complaint.
The Righteous Shall Live by His Faith
2 And the Lord answered me:
“Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.
3 For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.
4 “Behold, his soul is puffed up; it is not upright within him, but the righteous shall live by his faith.
ObservationI have observed that in all my complaints GOD has been answering me steadily, faithfully, relentlessly even I needed time to receive all that HE is responding to me because HIS response is ahead, way ahead of my complaints, but HE knows what I am saying for the next days of my life and HIS response is already laid down in HIS word through my bible reading! When I say I'm sick and tried, HE says, I am going to do it, when I said "are YOU lying to me again?" He says I am not man that I should lie or change my mind! I didn't know this word can be read in Samuel because I know this word to be in Numbers. Yet the Prophets of old keep saying the character of GOD that comforts me in all the pain that I go through because of what HE reveals to me. When I complain, HE says write the vision, though it seems slow because you are always in a hurry like any human, wait for it because it will surely happen! I need you to wait because waiting purifies all your desires and burns all of its impurities so that what is left is a pure desire, pure love, righteous and holy in my sight.
Application
Psalm 27
13 I believe that I shall look[f] upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!
14 Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
I will keep believing that I will experience, taste, and see that GOD is good while I am walking here on earth. I will wait for GOD to do all that HE has promised me. I will not stop trusting in the GOD of my Salvation. I do not trust man, or in what I see, I will trust only in GOD and what HE will do according to what HE revealed to me. HE will do more than what I understand and what I know, HE will do more because HE is the Glory of Israel, HE is the KING of Glory!
Prayers
Dear AVI,
O GOD Almighty YOU are HOLY KING of Glory ruler over all the Universe! O GOD forgive me for all my disappointments, fear, anxious thoughts, questions of doubts, forgive me for sinning against YOU My GOD who loves me more than I even love myself. O GOD, I thank YOU for every WORD YOU have spoken to me, wow! So much promises YOU gave to me ever since last year that YOU revealed to me who Stephen is. YOU have been bombarding me with YOUR WORD just like the dream YOU gave me yesterday morning where Stephen and I are being bombarded with YOUR WORD while we are in our Alpha State, I pray the same thing for Dad O GOD, for he has been bored, I pray that YOU will awaken and revive his Spirit man, and give him the urgency to pray and work with YOU in YOUR Kingdom even as he retires he can still do so much work for YOU spiritually but YOU have to give him a revelation of these things O GOD! Please stir my parents to be merciful to me, to pray for me and to understand their role in YOUR Kingdom. I pray for hearts to be softened continually, for humility and for repentance unto Stephen, Benita, deliverance and healing also for Carlo, Jaja, Sandro, for Kyle and Gabella to be strengthened in YOU, for everyone that I pray for to know YOU and love YOU more than their lives here on earth. I pray O GOD revive us Gjianna, Dad, Mom, Jr, Gaily, KING JESUS and make us to receive more things from YOU and to do YOUR will each and everyday. I pray O GOD, have YOUR Way in us. I pray O GOD help us to seek YOUR Face and to please YOU more than pleasing ourselves. O GOD, forgive all our shortcomings and heal us so we can serve YOU fully. LORD JESUS, every time I want to let go believing why do YOU keep encouraging me to keep hoping??? I don't want to hope because I am always hoping for the wrong thing, but I want to keep waiting and hoping in YOU O GOD. I want to let my feelings die so that YOU can raise it back to life at the right time. Just allow me to lay it down O GOD. Please refine my desires, let my hope be only in YOU. For YOU deserve all the glory honor praises and thanksgiving! YOU deserve all our devotion and love O GOD.
In the Name of YESHUA Amen!
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