Friday 1 November 2024

Event
Rest Day today because tomorrow even though it is shabbat is the day I have been anticipating and waiting for

Here and Now
I feel broken hearted that the man I thought was righteous was not the man I thought he is...


SOAP





Scripture

Psalm 91

English Standard Version

My Refuge and My Fortress

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say[a] to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.

5 You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.

8 You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place— the Most High, who is my refuge[b]—

10 no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.

12 On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread on the lion and the adder; the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.

14 “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name.

15 When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.

16 With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

ObservationHow timely that I am reading this at this time of the year - a day for what they call the dead, but I also see this as the day for workers of evil. But even as this day rises, it will set and it will set with the wicked fleeing and defeated because GOD my GOD cares for me and looks after me because I call on HIM, because I love HIM, because I belong to HIM.  But I am heartbroken over Stephen and may this pain cause me to finally let go of the man I thought was righteous and just was not after all. I am in pain because I always follow the leading of GOD and here I am dismayed over what I see who Stephen really is.

ApplicationI will call on GOD, I will hold fast and cling to GOD because I have no ONE else who never failed me in this life and in this world, GOD is my ONLY Perfect, the Uncreated ONE, the HOLY ONE and I will always hold on to HIM even though many times HIS holiness hurts me. I will grieve and mourn for Stephen, just like I have grieved and mourn for the rest of the men GOD showed me, or I thought GOD has shown me, or pointed to me. But I will hope in the GOD of my salvation, HE will redeem me from all this pain, HE will redeem me and restore whatever that the enemy has stolen or destroyed. I will HOPE in GOD my Savior, my redeemer who made Ruth happy again. I will hope in GOD who loves me, my perfect LOVE.

PrayersDear AVI,HOLY HOLY HOLY is YOUR Name O GOD! Great are YOU O GOD! KING of Glory! HOLY HOLY HOLY are YOU O GOD Almighty! There is none like YOU KING JESUS! I need YOU O Sovereign ONE, I need YOU to love me and take care of me and speak to me and make me glad and joyful in YOU. I am mourning right now because Stephen is not the man that YOU promised me, he is not righteous, he is not just. He is crap, all brains and no heart, crap! But YOU told me he is the one, and this is what hurts me the most that I am deceived by YOUR revelation to me and my own heart who expected and hoped in YOUR Promises and WORD. But I am okay, I am broken hearted but I am okay, GOD, I am okay, I've been through this many many times before, dismay and hope cut off. How many times do I have to be broken over loving the wrong man??? But YOU have already prepared a husband for me, YOU have already chosen him for me and I will wait on YOU to bring me this man who loves me right away. Who loves YOU more and will take care of me and build our family. So help me to move on from this pain O GOD, I give YOU my very broken heart. I give YOU all of me, my life, my heart... I will continue to love YOU no matter what for YOU the GOD who is worthy of all my love, all my heart, all my life, all my trust, all my hope is in YOU MYGOD forever perfect, faithful and true.
In the Name of YESHUA Amen!






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