Wednesday 4 September 2024

1 Elul 5984

Event: Work day

Here and Now:
I was rested well last night after my aerobic exercise with Randy, dinner and coffee. I slept only 6 hours but I feel really refreshed as I was able to wake up at 5AM by myself, not feeling tired at all and my smart watch says that I had 89% good rate sleep. I did talk to Randy last night about 1 Samuel 16 about Earl and Acts 6-7 with Ruth 1-4 when I asked the LORD about Stephen. Also what Pastor Timmy advised to me to open my heart and mind to anyone who comes along. I woke considering Garrick, I feel that Stephen is no longer in my heart because probably GOD has answered my prayers to let the awakened love sleep again before the time is right. Now I remember I dreamt of John Clement Po, and how I don't feel anything for him but in my dream he loved me and I guess being in that situation is better for a woman than for her to love someone who doesn't love her back-painful.


SOAP



Scripture

Psalms 32

English Standard Version

Blessed Are the Forgiven

A Maskil[a] of David.

1 Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,    whose sin is covered.

2 Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

3 For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away    through my groaning all day long.

4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up[b] as by the heat of summer. Selah

5 I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

6 Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him.

7 You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah

8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;    I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

9 Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding,    which must be curbed with bit and bridle,    or it will not stay near you.

10 Many are the sorrows of the wicked,    but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.

11 Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous,    and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!

ObservationI have looked into my heart and observed that my sin was loving someone before the time was right, impatience, and doubting when GOD's promise for me did not happen at my expected time. I struggled with waiting, I despised it and it caused bitterness in my heart. Now I did not feel love for Stephen anymore, because I felt he rejected me, I despised him. 

ApplicationI recognize my sins against GOD and I ask forgiveness from it. May the LORD heal the brokeness of my heart. May HE renew my heart, may HE keep loving me when I have even despised myself for my sins. I am trusting GOD to heal me, restore me and redeem me from all the pain that I have caused myself. But I will continue to pray for the man whom GOD has chosen to marry me because I know now he will love me first just as JESUS loved me.

PrayersDear AVI,O HOLY ONE of Israel, I bless YOU FATHER for YOU are the GREAT I AM and KING of the Universe and the greatest love I will ever know. Forgive me FATHER for sinning against YOU and loving Stephen before the time is right when YOUR Spirit was not yet poured out into him, I loved him and now I despise him and all his weaknesses because no man is ever good enough, and righteous on their own. I thank YOU ABBA for revealing my sins to me and healing me today as I repent of it. I thank YOU that YOU will empower me to cross into my Promised land not by my might or by power but by YOUR SPIRIT that dwells in me and dwells in my husband whoever he is, I pray for him O GOD that even today, he is meditation early in the morning, late at night, on YOUR WORD because he is a godly man who fears YOU and he is a hard working man who loves what he does and is content with whatever YOU have called him to do. Please bring us together O GOD in the proper time and let him love me first because this is my request and desire. Send me the man who will love me the moment he sees me or understands YOUR will for us to be married. O GOD please don't let me grieve over Saul this long...send me the man who is to be David for us and even better than David. Let him exceed what Stephen is right now for he has rejected YOU, the way he has rejected me. So I am praying for YOU to marry me quickly to the man YOU have created me for to marry. Bring us together O Ruach Hakodesh and I expect him to be even more excellent than Stephen yet gracious because and kinder because he has YOUR Spirit. Please redeem me O GOD, at YOUR time and heal me FATHER, and I pray for YOU to heal and deliver Sandro Muhlach, Jaja Gulfan, Carlo Rebadomia, Kyle Chua from all their pain and challenges, heal them and heal Gabella Ho and me who is in need of YOUR healing everyday. I pray for  Mom to be submissive to YOU and to be content, I pray for Dad to be closer to YOU and be used for YOUR kingdom as he prays and that YOU will give him revelations about the days to come leading to the Great snatching away of YOUR Saints. O GOD help me and Sir Jun and that the case against Remar will be filed ASAP so that there will be a warrant to arrest scammers like him and his woman. I pray for YOUR grace KING JESUS over me in all that I do, let the power of the HOLY SPIRIT overshadow me once again and lead me to do everything that will glorify YOU O GOD. Restore me and my mom O GOD and heal our family relationships. For YOU are LORD and KING over us JESUS rule and reign over our hearts and minds.
In the Name of JESUS Amen!





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