Friday

Event:

Meeting with Stephen, David and Kim

Here and now:

 I have been praying to GOD "Be merciful to me GOD, heal me from my desires because my desires has caused me great pain..." and now I understand why as I read Psalm 41:4 because I have sinned against GOD when I was impatient and could not wait for the promise, I grieved, I was in pain, because I doubted and I was afraid it would not come to pass again. Today I am no longer in pain but I want to escape the desire because I still feel the desire to be deeply loved by a man and I desired it to be Stephen. May the LORD forgive me for my wrong, for not fully trusting why HE is allowing me to go through this pain again, like I have gone through the pain with Jeward for the purpose of me being able to love and accept David and Kim together, to pray for the family to receive them as GOD has blessed them and now they are coming to the house to join the meeting with Stephen today. My pain for Jeward has been recompensed because it was not for me but for my brother and his wife. I wish somebody had to go through some pain to be able to have me and someone be married becuase nobody feels the pain of JESUS but me. Today Randy messaged me so early about bringing Violin to come to my house, and so did Stephen responding to my email. Last night as I talked to Pastor Jonah,  he was really one with GOD in Spirit because he encouraged me with Psalm 34:7 Delight yourself in the LORD, And He will give you the desires and petitions of your heart. I thought he will emphasize me on the petitions of my heart but Pastor was emphasizing that to delight in GOD is to please GOD and what pleases GOD is faith. He emphasized faith once again.

SOAP

Scriptures

Acts 11:19-12:5

English Standard Version

The Church in Antioch

19 Now those who were scattered because of the persecution that arose over Stephen traveled as far as Phoenicia and Cyprus and Antioch, speaking the word to no one except Jews.

Psalms 41

English Standard Version

O Lord, Be Gracious to Me

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

1 Blessed is the one who considers the poor![a] In the day of trouble the Lord delivers him;

2 the Lord protects him and keeps him alive;    he is called blessed in the land; you do not give him up to the will of his enemies.

3 The Lord sustains him on his sickbed; in his illness you restore him to full health.[b]

4 As for me, I said, “O Lord, be gracious to me; heal me,[c] for I have sinned against you!”

Luke 8ESV48 And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”

49 While he was still speaking, someone from the ruler's house came and said, “Your daughter is dead; do not trouble the Teacher any more.” 50 But Jesus on hearing this answered him, “Do not fear; only believe, and she will be well.”

Observation:
Since last night GOD had been speaking to me about faith when I talked to Pastor Jonah he taught me that to delight in GOD is to believe in all that HE has promised because GOD delights in those who pleases HIM and only faith pleases HIM. I did not take much importance on it nut last night that my parents and I decided to return to having Communion Nights, GOD talks to my Spirit again about it by using Pastor Joseph Prince as we listened to one of his sermons he was preaching how Solomon had pleased GOD by asking for wisdom instead of riches and long life, 1 Kings 3:12behold, I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there has never been nor will ever be another like you. Again GOD is emphasizing about faith last night but I just slept on it and didn't really bother until today again GOD is continually speaking to me about faith consistently in Luke 8, that it is faith that heals us, faith that makes us well, when we chose to believe, when we chose to just believe.

Application

I do not doubt that GOD will give me a husband. HE can easily do it with Randy Sia, my brother and friend. But he is just a friend and I don't want to be married to him. What is hard for me to believe is having Stephen because he does not have the Spirit of GOD in him but GOD did promise me that HE will pour out HIS HOLY SPIRIT on him. How long that will take to happen? I don't know! But I cry and cry when I don't see it happening yet, it hurts me because in the past I had been hurt, is Stephen another Jeward, Mosab, Zvika and Navonel? This is the thing that makes me ask....But I have decided to just stop asking and just believe that GOD can do the impossible, but until HE does, I have no right to love someone who does not even love GOD, because he is dead to me, a man without the spirit of GOD is a dead man walking and I cry seeing this present thing in my reality. I have to keep my eyes on JESUS, it's the only way for me to survive this walk of faith. 

Dear AVI,

O GOD and Precious LORD and KING and Saviour who loves me! YOU are the GREAT I AM, the HOLY ONE of Israel! YOU are LORD of all! O GOD Almighty, I need YOU. I need YOU so much, I need YOUR SPIRIT YOUR GRACE to hold me up everyday because I am dying everyday I die to myself and it's okay if I feel pain, it only means I am alive. But I pray O GOD, give me faith because I lack it, help me to believe, give me eyes that see what YOU see that I cannot. Help me to just trust in YOU O GOD Almighty! Help me to just keep trusting YOU even if I have to be broken hearted once again. Help me to keep trusting YOU KING JESUS. I pray for Arlene right now, please speak to her and give her the grace to understand, to accept and to do YOUR Will, let her come home to the Philippines, and help her to also trust YOU. I pray that YOU speak to Rey too and that he will decide for them as a family what to do. I pray O GOD that YOU will give me a submissive heart to a husband who loves and fears YOU. I pray O GOD that YOU will help me enjoy my single life now that I don't have a husband yet. I pray O GOD that YOU will help me to dwell in YOUR Presence and love. I pray that YOU bless this day today O GOD and take care of me and all the ones that I carry in my heart. I pray that YOU draw my parents closer to YOU, I pray that YOU deliver and save and heal Stephen and Benita Yu, Janine Rose Gulfan, Carlo, Sandro, Kyle, Jenifer Velasco and everyone that needs YOUR deliverance and healing in their life O GOD, I pray for every worker to experience  YOUR HOLY Presence even as they work for us and I pray that YOU deal with the scammers Elizabeth Bustamante and Remar Fletchetro for the injustice and crimes that they have done to us and others. I pray bring justice O GOD, I pray for YOUR Spirit to fill me with power, love and sound mind, I pray that YOU use me supernaturally and do great things through me becuase my life belongs to YOU and YOU deserve all of me, all of my devotion, all of my love. YOU deserve all the glory, honor and praise! YOU deserve everything because YOU made everything!!! O GOD of Glory, have YOUR way today and bless my meeting with Stephen and I ask that YOU come to our meeting and speak to us today.

IN the Name of JESUS Amen!