Sunday 11 August 2024

Event:
Sunday Worship


Here and Now:
Had a good sleep but woke up before 4AM with troubling thoughts and I should pray while I cannot sleep but I forced myself to sleep and slept back only at 5AM. I feel the pain of death, I have to mourn this Vision GOD gave me because I have to put it to death.


SOAP



Scriptures
Jeremiah 20
ESV

7 O Lord, you have deceived me, and I was deceived; you are stronger than I,    and you have prevailed.I have become a laughingstock all the day;    everyone mocks me. 8 For whenever I speak, I cry out,    I shout, “Violence and destruction!”For the word of the Lord has become for me    a reproach and derision all day long. 9 If I say, “I will not mention him,    or speak any more in his name, ”there is in my heart as it were a burning fire    shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in,    and I cannot. 10 For I hear many whispering.    Terror is on every side! “Denounce him! Let us denounce him!”    say all my close friends,    watching for my fall. “Perhaps he will be deceived;    then we can overcome him    and take our revenge on him.” 11 But the Lord is with me as a dread warrior;    therefore my persecutors will stumble;    they will not overcome me. They will be greatly shamed,    for they will not succeed. Their eternal dishonor    will never be forgotten. 12 O Lord of hosts, who tests the righteous,    who sees the heart and the mind,[a]let me see your vengeance upon them,    for to you have I committed my cause.

13 Sing to the Lord;    praise the Lord! For he has delivered the life of the needy    from the hand of evildoers.

ObservationI have now come to the point where like Jeremiah I could complain to GOD and say YOU have deceived me LORD and I was deceived! Because of the way HE made believe that I was going to marry Stephen but then today when I look with my physical eyes, and think with my finite mind, and analyze with my human reasoning that it could never be and it will never work. But it is exactly in these moments that even if I complain, even if my heart and mind refuse to believe my Spirit will still say, Let it be done unto me O LORD According to YOUR will and I want to be like a child, like Mary whose faith had caused her to receive even the impossible things because GOD makes all things possible.

ApplicationI am confused whether I should wait or let this Promise from GOD die just as Abraham had to kill Isaac in his heart on his way to the Moutain where GOD told him to sacrifice him. I want to let it die, just to give relief to the pain and brokeness of my heart. But how can I let it die when I see him every week and forced to talk to him. How??? May the LORD be gracious to me as I continue to rely on HIM for strength, for provision, for comfort, for love, for security, for deliverance, for healing, for all things, I rely on GOD. I look to HIM for HE is the ONLY ONE who can save me from everything that is making me fall apart.
 PrayersDear AVI,O Great and Glorious KING, Loving and precious FATHER who does not cast like shifting shadows, Have mercy on me O GOD, have mercy on me for I am weak and broken hearted. I want to lay it all to die, all the flesh in me, all the need to control, all the flesh in me that is not pleasing YOU, I want YOU to refine me and purify all the bad side of me. I want YOU to heal me because I am so wounded and in so much pain. Please forgive me if I hurt Stephen in any way, please deal with him and his issues too and let me to let go of the Promise that YOU have given me, help me to just keep trusting YOU and just keep doing what YOU want me to do. I do not want to disobey YOU LORD but obedience to YOUR will has been so painful to me, I am dying from within but I pray O GOD that YOU will make something new out of the death of me, build my life on YOU do not let me do things that will once again cause hurt and pain to myself because of my stubbornness, faithlessness, help me to let go O GOD. Take care of me! Help me, carry me towards the WILL YOU have for me. As I have always prayed before that YOU will never allow me to want or desire anything that is NOT YOUR Will, this is still my prayer today and I pray that YOU answer me, answer every prayer I pray O GOD. I pray for YOUR healing towards Kim and Toni, and me, we are so broken O GOD. I pray for Jerson that YOU heal him, I pray for Stephen that YOU save him, and Mom Benita and that YOU will encounter them, encounter these people O LORD, encounter us O GOD! YOU are the ONE who does great and mighty things! Please O GOD, let me always obey YOU, let my heart and mind always be one with YOU. O GOD, please KING JESUS let me rejoice in YOUR love once again, even today as I go to church, let me rejoice in YOU. O LORD I also ask YOU to guide me into hiring the right people, if I feel it's not right then help me to do what is right, especially regarding this new worker Cindy, that Mai recommended, I pray that if she's not what I need do not allow me to hire her. I pray O GOD that in all I do I acknowledge YOU and that I do everything in faith and according to YOUR directions. Please O GOD have YOUR way in my life please O GOD, help me to live for YOU, to give YOU all the glory and praise YOU deserve. For YOU alone deserve it all. I Pray that YOU heal my relationship with Stephen and cause him to treat me kindly once again. Touch his heart o GOD, but help me to let go of him because YOU are my GOD and I need YOU more than anyone. Please continue to heal my parents and my relationship with my siblings O GOD. In the Name of JESUS I pray Amen!



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tuesday 1 October 2024

Image
Event The Meeting in the afternoon Here and Now I feel disappointed over Stephen's reaction to our text message yesterday but I just set it aside because I have already decided to let him go as a future mate but not as our lawyer. I still expect him to perform his best as our lawyer. I had weird dreams last night, mostly about work but it's okay because in the first part of my dream I saw myself rescuing my parents from the power of evil. I always hurried and when I went down I saw Pipoy always asking how I am and helping me. I prayed after waking up from that dream because GOD gave me encouraging Prophetic Words as I looked at Facebook. I read Lana Vawser's Prophetic word right away. I prophesied and prayed and I could hear the sound of rushing wind and then it rained strongly! Just to let me know HE has heard and answered every prayer! SOAP Scriptures Psalms 60 New American Standard Bible Grieving over Defeat in Battle, and Prayer for Help. For the music director; accordi...
Read more

Wednesday 25 September 2024

Image
Event Get honey from Pier 1, Meeting with Jun @GPlace,  Here and Now I woke up really early at 4am even though I slept a little later but I feel good today and thankful because I was feeling my heart and I have no more pain for Stephen, I just accepted GOD's will and timing over my life, GOD has given me the grace to trust HIM. SOAP Scriptures Deuteronomy 30:15-31:6 English Standard Version 15  “See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil. 16  If you obey the commandments of the Lord your God[ a ] that I command you today, by loving the Lord your God, by walking in his ways, and by keeping his commandments and his statutes and his rules,[ b ] then you shall live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land that you are entering to take possession of it. 17  But if your heart turns away, and you will not hear, but are drawn away to worship other gods and serve them, 18  I declare to you today, that you shall surely perish. You...
Read more

Shabbat Emor (Say)

Image
SOAP Event: Julie's Birthday at Waterfront attending Colour Me Women Scripture readings for Saturday: Leviticus 24, Ezekiel 44 (Rules for Levites/Priests/Servants of GOD) James 1:1-18 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 James 1 2 Count it all joy, my brothers,[ b ] when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 The Coming of the Lord 13  But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. 14  For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. 15  For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord,[ a ] that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16  ...
Read more