Sunday 1 September 2024

Event:
Sunday Worship Lunch with See Family 


Here and Now:
I was not able to sleep well because yesterday we had to report a theft case caused by our driver whom my mom trusted to bring the payroll to the Warehouse. It was a good thing that he showed his true character at a short time causing only a minimal damage. But I was more affected with the pain of being rejected by the laywer once again. I feel the rejection and the inconsistently of GOD's WORD to my reality. But GOD's word is proven true, it is reliable, it stands forever. Therefore I should not react according to what I see but I should act on GOD's word and just not feel anything but let it be.


SOAP


Scriptures

Luke 1:26-56

English Standard Version

Birth of Jesus Foretold

26 In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, 27 to a virgin betrothed[a] to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin's name was Mary. 28 And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!”[b] 29 But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. 30 And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31 And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. 32 He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, 33 and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”

34 And Mary said to the angel, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?”[c]

35 And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born[d] will be called holy—the Son of God. 36 And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. 37 For nothing will be impossible with God.” 38 And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant[e] of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.

Mary Visits Elizabeth

39 In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a town in Judah, 40 and she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. 41 And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, 42 and she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! 43 And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? 44 For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. 45 And blessed is she who believed that there would be[f] a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.”


ObservationA legit question Mary raised when Gabriel told her an astounding thing! Mary: “How will this be, since I am a virgin?”I ask a similar legit question since I am also human like Mary, and I had asked GOD:Christine: How can this (marrying Stephen) be, since he is not a Christian and he does not even love me?The answer: “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born[d] will be called holy—the Son of God.A more customized answer for Christine would be:The HOLY SPIRIT will come upon Stephen and will overshadow him (causing him to love you just as JESUS loves you) and therefore Stephen will be born again and will be called the son of GOD and not just a servant of GOD.Then Gabriel gives a sign to Mary even when she didn't ask, that her cousin Elizabeth is pregnant in her old age, whatever GOD will do no matter how impossible will be done because HE is GOD and all things are possible with GOD.The sign that GOD has given me is how my entire family loves Stephen as our lawyer and as a person because of who he is already even while he does not have the HOLY SPIRIT yet. But my heart bleeds because he doesn't love me and this is what is causing so much of my pain.

ApplicationAfter GOD is telling me to be like Mary in this difficult situation HE has put me in, my response should be just like Mary's: “Behold, I am the servant[e] of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” I need to just cast all my feelings and thoughts and analysis aside because my feelings are hurting me. I want to remove what I Feel for Stephen because I already feel the love but I don't know if GOD is even allowing me to do so. I just want to protect my heart from pain and I know that one of the causes of my heart for pain is the doubt and lack of trust for GOD to fulfill HIS WORD in my life. I am trying to convince myself: What about just forget about the whole Stephen thing until it happens? What about just focus yourself in other things? In loving GOD more? When I love someone more than GOD it hurts GOD and it hurts me even more. I should just surrender this to GOD and I am trying my best but I don't have the power to free myself from the feelings because I see him every week. I need to restructure my life so that I don't have to see him every week. May the LORD allow me not to see him. At least to go away for a time being to recover from all emotional damages. I don't know but I will keep trusting GOD to deliver me from my own stupidity as I submit myself to HIM.

Prayers
Dear AVI,Blessed are YOU O GOD and KING of the Universe! YOU are HOLY O GOD my GOD and YOU are perfect. Please O GOD, have mercy on me and forgive my frailty and wrongs. Forgive me for loving Stephen and loving the Promise more than YOU. Please if YOU allow it, take away my feelings for Stephen and let me take a rest from all my struggles in having to believe the PROMISE and not seeing it happen yet. I want to just rest from this please GOD help me, deliver me and forgive me for hurting YOU. I am in pain because I believe, I am in pain because I have loved Stephen but it is not yet time because he doesn't love me back. I want YOU to set me free from loving Stephen with all my honesty O GOD please set me free. I want the feeling to die so that I am not in pain and YOU can raise it back to life when the time is right. But do not allow me to keep hurting myself anymore because of my own thoughts and human calculations that can never figure out how YOU are going to do things because YOU are GOD, YOUR thoughts are not my thoughts, YOUR ways are higher than mine, YOUR ways are unfathomable and I want YOU to surprise me and overwhelm me with YOUR Power when YOU do everything that YOU have promised without my help. I want YOU to do it O GOD! I want YOU to help me, free me, rescue me, forgive me, love me and keep loving me, be patient with me, heal me, make me whole and happy once again. Have mercy on me LORD and do not let me feel the pain anymore. I want to just kill this Isaac so that I can serve YOU and love YOU better. Let me lay him down at YOUR feet O GOD. I lay Stephen down at YOUR feet, I do not even want to pray for him anymore, have I not prayed enough??? Please GOD be merciful to me and forgive me and set me free to be happy and to be joyful in YOU. No matter how I command my soul to rejoice in YOU even though I don't see Stephen loving me, it cannot rejoice, my heart is so stubborn so I need YOUR help O GOD, please don't reject me or turn me away because I am weak, please JESUS have YOUR way in my heart, mind and soul, renew me O GOD and do not allow me to be wallowing in pain if it is not YOUR will for me to be in pain anymore. I want YOU to rescue me from myself, and heal me O GOD. And I pray that YOU bless our time together with Ching's family at lunch time. Please O GOD take my eyes off Stephen and let me focus on other things until the time is right. Let me LOVE YOU MORE than Stephen because YOU deserve all my love, my heart and devotion. YOU alone deserve all my adoration and praise!
In the Name of JESUS Amen!

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