Wednesday 17 July 2024

Event:
Visit Gaily

Here and Now: 

I Praise GOD for another restful sleep last night even though I still woke up in the middle of it to pee, I was able to go back to sleep right away after 5 minutes. I could see my mind doing an overthink all my worries and pain but I felt a certain peace that night that just led me back to sleep and it was good. I remember Randy praying for me at the coffee shop and he had sincerely prayers and I was grateful for that. I thank GOD for every person whom GOD has touched to pray for me.

SOAP

Scriptures:

Philippians 2:12-30
ESV
Lights in the World
12 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
14 Do all things without grumbling or disputing, 15 that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, 16 holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. 17 Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. 18 Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me.

Observation

Wow! GOD is telling me to continue to obey HIM so that I will be saved, because it is GOD who is working in me, moving through me, living in me, HE is in me. I already want to escape from all the pain I am going through. My escape is to go to America, find work there, soon Trump will be President and America will be safe again. But hear ye what the LORD is telling me today, that as you have always obeyed (staying in Cebu, working for the family) continue to do it, continue in your obedience because when you are doing it you are actually working out your salvation, with much fear and reverence for GOD. Salvation does not only come from believing that JESUS is GOD, it is also following HIS specific instructions for your life. This is what this word means to me.

Application

I don't like where I am in right now, I am suffering where I am right now but I need to be diligent to obey GOD and if I have to suffer I suffer, I endure, I bear all things in love because this is GOD's command, it is eight obedience or else I am NOT actually following HIS will and if in the end GOD finds me not doing HIS will, I will not be able to enter HIS kingdom as I thought I would just because I believe JESUS is GOD. It is not enough to believe because believing would mean that your actions will coincide with YOUR Faith. But my belief should be evident in my actions, and my actions should spell obedient to the will of GOD. Today I feel like I am flesh cooked in a very hot pot, melting away all my pride and self interest, self loving self serving flesh, a living sacrifice as what Randy says, it is what it is. I wish I was already dead in my flesh so that GOD's Spirit could fully have HIS way in me.

Prayers

Dear AVI,

O GREAT and Awesome GOD. YOU are Holy, Faithful and true. I want to keep trusting YOU with my life, I want to keep doing YOUR will even though it is hard. Help me KING JESUS because I cannot obey YOU on my own. I need YOU to strengthen me and heal me, make me whole once again. I am dying and if I have to die let me die to my flesh and deny myself, but resurrect me once again to the woman YOU have called me to be. I am praying and asking YOU to bring me a husband someone who already follows YOU because I see that even praying for someone to be saved just so he could be fit to be yoked with me is something not possible. It was possible for Gaily yes but me, right now at my age and my biological clock ticking, I don't have the time to wait for a miracle. My body cannot wait, if I pass the age of 45 unmarried, I have to let go of my dreams of being a mother. It is painful what YOU are doing in my life, that I am losing hope to live. Today I let go of Stephen, he cannot be for me because his spirit is dead. I have prayed the impossible for him, believing YOU could do anything, but I was wrong, forgive me for even trying to believe you could save him in such a small amount of time coz it took years for Jr and Gaily, my time on earth is short, my faith was either too small or it really was not YOUR will. Thank YOU for sending us a good lawyer through Stephen continue to use him to help us in the business. But I am praying that Signatura Foundation that was applied by Mom will be rejected by SEC because I don't want our foundation to be affiliated or associated with Jam and Josh's foundation who has not even filed their papers correctly. I am praying for YOU to do a miracle for me by rejected this NAME because it will endanger my family. I am praying O GOD, still for the impossible because YOU MAKE ALL THINGS POSSIBLE!!! I pray that my life will continue to give YOU glory and give me peace and joy inspite of all that I am going through so that I can always give my praises and worship unto YOU.

In the Name of YESHUA I pray Amen!