Sunday 21 July 2024
Here and Now:
I slept so long like 9.5 hours!!! I had weird dreams too of 2 puppies surviving a 2 week trip inside the baggage. Ama's house, my cousin Lynle and her husband living in Ama's old house. And when I woke up I feel rather something died inside me: Loving Stephen. I hope that it's true, that I don't feel anything for him anymore but I still prayed for him during the middle of the night that I awoke, I prayed for him to have the saving knowledge of the LORD and follow JESUS.
2 Kings 23:21-28
English Standard Version
Josiah Restores the Passover
24 Moreover, Josiah put away the mediums and the necromancers and the household gods and the idols and all the abominations that were seen in the land of Judah and in Jerusalem, that he might establish the words of the law that were written in the book that Hilkiah the priest found in the house of the Lord. 25 Before him there was no king like him, who turned to the Lord with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his might, according to all the Law of Moses, nor did any like him arise after him.
26 Still the Lord did not turn from the burning of his great wrath, by which his anger was kindled against Judah, because of all the provocations with which Manasseh had provoked him. 27 And the Lord said, “I will remove Judah also out of my sight, as I have removed Israel, and I will cast off this city that I have chosen, Jerusalem, and the house of which I said, My name shall be there.”
English Standard Version6 And behold, one of the people of Israel came and brought a Midianite woman to his family, in the sight of Moses and in the sight of the whole congregation of the people of Israel, while they were weeping in the entrance of the tent of meeting. 7 When Phinehas the son of Eleazar, son of Aaron the priest, saw it, he rose and left the congregation and took a spear in his hand 8 and went after the man of Israel into the chamber and pierced both of them, the man of Israel and the woman through her belly. Thus the plague on the people of Israel was stopped. 9 Nevertheless, those who died by the plague were twenty-four thousand.
The Zeal of Phinehas
10 And the Lord said to Moses, 11 “Phinehas the son of Eleazar, son of Aaron the priest, has turned back my wrath from the people of Israel, in that he was jealous with my jealousy among them, so that I did not consume the people of Israel in my jealousy. 12 Therefore say, ‘Behold, I give to him my covenant of peace, 13 and it shall be to him and to his descendants after him the covenant of a perpetual priesthood, because he was jealous for his God and made atonement for the people of Israel.’”
Ecclesiastes 12:9-14
English Standard Version
Fear God and Keep His Commandments
9 Besides being wise, the Preacher also taught the people knowledge, weighing and studying and arranging many proverbs with great care. 10 The Preacher sought to find words of delight, and uprightly he wrote words of truth.
11 The words of the wise are like goads, and like nails firmly fixed are the collected sayings; they are given by one Shepherd. 12 My son, beware of anything beyond these. Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh.
13 The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.[a] 14 For God will bring every deed into judgment, with[b] every secret thing, whether good or evil.
ObservationThere are 2 scriptures that I have observed here: 2 Kings 23 The King Josiah was a leader who not like no other who turned to the LORD with all his heart who restored every command of worship unto GOD and removed the idol worship from among his people YET he was not able to satisfy the burning anger of GOD for HIS people Israel. In Numbers 25 was a Priest whose name was Phinehas who slaughtered his fellow brothers committing sexual sins against the GOD of Israel and this priest was able to please GOD. But what was the difference between the two??? The violence and massacre of GOD's people??? No! It was the blood that has atoned for the sins of people.
ApplicationBut we do not have to kill the sinful today to be able to do that, because the blood of JESUS has already atoned for every sin in this world, from the past to the present, over and beyond the future. But we can appease GOD's burning anger towards the sinful people by showing them about the love and sacrifice of JESUS Christ until they repent of their sins and turn from their evil and wicked ways. The lie that the enemy has instilled amongst the intelligent and self righteous is either there is no GOD who punishes, there is no eternal life and there is no heaven or hell. But to us who know and hold the TRUTH deeply in our hearts, GOD's love compels us to preach to the world this GOSPEL of HIS saving power (we cannot be righteous enough on our own we need JESUS to inherit eternal life) and the reality of eternal damnation if we do not turn to GOD. We can do everything good in our life on earth, like a monk living a peaceful and simple life on earth but a monk without JESUS still ends up in heaven and this may be the harsh TRUTH but this is the only TRUTH that I know and live for daily.
PrayersDear AVI,O HOLY and GREAT I AM! HOLY are YOU O GOD and I am so glad that YOU are like a person with feelings, with emotions even though YOU are the most powerful being because YOUR emotions of anger and jealousy make me understand YOU and how YOU feel towards the people YOU love, I felt the same way for Stephen but LORD I don't want to feel that way anymore. I can only pray for him and I want to feel nothing towards him because I am the woman who needs to wait for him to feel something first. I feel that I have betrayed myself when I felt love towards him when he didn't pursue me. But at the same time reading this passage in Numbers made me understand why I felt so jealous for him. It was like YOU who loved YOUR people, YOU had led them already out of Egypt, they were already following YOU but then YOU saw them seduced to worship other gods because of the way they intermarried and had sexual relations with foreign women. It was not because YOU are racist and you only wanted them to marry each other, YOU did not want them to marry foreign women because the foreign women worshipped foreign gods, RUTH was an exception because she knew Noami and chose to make YOU her God because of her mother in law. She became a worshipper of YOU and so YOU gave her to be married to Boaz. But I read about your jealousy for Israel and I feel the exact same way towards my jealousy for Stephen that I cried so hard and tried so hard to kill these feelings because I don't want to put up with someone who did not love me anymore. He never confessed to love me and he never pursued me but I wanted him to love and pursue me just as YOU wanted Israel to love YOU and pursue YOU. I thank YOU for making me understand YOU but what pain I feel! What Pain!!! Now that Phinehas has pleased YOU, show me who my Phinehas is, and let me have my covenant with him. But I want this Phinehas to be a hundred times better than Stephen! He should be more intelligent with more excellence and honorable because I will not consider anyone lesser than Stephen or else it would make me feel like I had missed the Promise. I know that I deserve more because YOU are my Father!!! YOU are MY GOD!!! YOU will always give the best for YOUR children! YOU always want the best for all of us O GOD!!! But don't let this wickedness live within me where I would love another human more than I love YOU, kill all these feelings that are making YOU jealous for me O GOD, kill my love for Stephen because I don't want to love anyone more than I love YOU. Heal me O GOD, for I have been deeply wounded. Speak tenderly to me once again and do not allow Stephen to love another because I have bound him to love YOU more than any other human! I bind myself to love JESUS more than any other man and only then can my husband and I love one another when we love JESUS first. GOD I am waiting for YOU to show me who my Phinehas is. But as I wait I ask that YOU heal me from all my pain and heal Stephen too, I wish I knew what is on his heart and mind but YOU do and I pray that he will love YOU and follow YOU. I pray for him to know YOU send someone to minister to him O GOD, let him watch our facebook videos of the church and listen to Pastor Timmy's preaching. Please O GOD, please take care of my heart and all that I pray for, even in the past, I pray that YOU will give peace to everything that has troubled me. For YOU are my GOD, the KING of Glory! YOU deserve all the glory and praises!!!
In the Name of JESUS Amen!
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