Friday 5 July 2024
Day 6 Fast
Event: Regular work day,
Scriptures
Event: Regular work day,
Lucio's 2nd Death Anniversary
Here and Now
I feel sad and hopeless just as Pastor said last night of some people in church who came in feeling "defeated" and it's exactly how I felt. I cried for most of the time that we prayed because there wasn't any words that could express my grief. It's the 6th day fast, and it's the second to the last day of our fasting. I am still praying for Stephen but because of our meeting yesterday that GOD did not come through with the signs that I asked and even the nonchalant way he acted made me feel very defeated. I want to let get rid of him from my heart, I want to bury the love for him that I felt in the grave because my heart has been grieving as I wait on the LORD to fulfill HIS promise to me. AM I even holding on to the right promises? Does GOD want me to be believe that he is my husband? Was it not clear yesterday morning? And today the questions of doubt rise within. But this is exactly what the enemy wants me to feel - doubtful because in doubt GOD is hindered from doing miracles. Sometimes things become so opposite of what GOD says because HE wants to show us that HIS power is the Greatest! I may not hope in Stephen anymore but I put my hope in GOD! HE will do the impossible!
SOAP
Here and Now
I feel sad and hopeless just as Pastor said last night of some people in church who came in feeling "defeated" and it's exactly how I felt. I cried for most of the time that we prayed because there wasn't any words that could express my grief. It's the 6th day fast, and it's the second to the last day of our fasting. I am still praying for Stephen but because of our meeting yesterday that GOD did not come through with the signs that I asked and even the nonchalant way he acted made me feel very defeated. I want to let get rid of him from my heart, I want to bury the love for him that I felt in the grave because my heart has been grieving as I wait on the LORD to fulfill HIS promise to me. AM I even holding on to the right promises? Does GOD want me to be believe that he is my husband? Was it not clear yesterday morning? And today the questions of doubt rise within. But this is exactly what the enemy wants me to feel - doubtful because in doubt GOD is hindered from doing miracles. Sometimes things become so opposite of what GOD says because HE wants to show us that HIS power is the Greatest! I may not hope in Stephen anymore but I put my hope in GOD! HE will do the impossible!
SOAP
Scriptures
Psalm 90
12 So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.
13 Return, O Lord! How long? Have pity on your servants!
14 Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil.
16 Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children.
17 Let the favor[d] of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!
Isaiah 66
English Standard Version
The Humble and Contrite in Spirit
1 Thus says the Lord: “Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool; what is the house that you would build for me, and what is the place of my rest? 2 All these things my hand has made, and so all these things came to be, declares the Lord. But this is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word.
ObservationThe LORD loves the humble and contrite in spirit, HE never despise the broken hearted, HE looks to the humble and contrite, HE comforts those who are grieving, HE is close to the broken hearted. How is it that in brokeness GOD is nearest???
Application
Prayers
Dear AVI,
O GREAT and Almighty GOD! Here I am O LORD, and I feel so tired, so weak from fasting... from grieving, from praying but even so O GOD, even if I feel defeated, YOU have already won the victory for me and so I am praying for Stephen and Benita and the rest of the Yu family to be saved and to follow YOU and love YOU. I pray for Stephen to be changed in the grace of YOUR Love because he is a dead man without a spirit. I pray awaken him to rise into YOUR Kingdom. I pray for Jr and Gaily Ho, their kids, I pray O GOD heal Jr and Gaily and Gabella from every sickness because it is YOUR will for us to have perfect health. I pray for healing even though everyday it seems getting worst, I pray for miracles even upon Jeff and Glory who are going through family problems I pray that YOU will breakthrough in their lives. I pray for Rey and Arlene, provide for them in a way that they can be together O GOD, be it Qatar or Dubai, bring them together as husband and wife. I pray for Ryan and Mingay, give them their own house for their family O GOD and normalize Justine, heal her because YOU can do anything!!! I pray for Siansi Sandra always provide for her O GOD and make her happy and joyful. I pray for Dean and Denesse to be humble and to honor those who honor is due. I pray for David and Kim to be always have this joy and gladness in their hearts, and this will never fade away because YOU are their shield. I pray for my husband to marry me this year! Yes O GOD I still want to marry the man YOU chosen for me, who deserves me because he loves YOU first before anything else and he is a respected man humble and full of grace, and filled with YOUR HOLY SPIRIT, I pray whatever he is doing bless him and take care of him and bring us together to be husband and wife soon! YES O GOD let it be done! I pray for Dad and Mom to be One in their decisions and in their thoughts, that Mom always submits to Dad and I pray that they will be filled with joy and peace as they seek YOU above all things. I pray that YOU give them long life and that they will rejoice seeing my husband loving me. I pray for my wedding that YOU prepare it and that my in laws would love me too! O GOD, I pray for many things because YOU have put that in me to pray. I pray for Randy and Mai to love one another in YOUR guidance and in CHRIST bring glory to YOU. I pray for Pastors TImmy and Grace to always be filled with joy and make them fruitful in the church and that Pastor Bernie and Marlyn will always be faithfully submitting to them to work together as one, that there be harmony, unity and peace. I pray for long life for my dogs and good health for everyone. I pray O GOD, make me happy, provide for all my needs, do not allow the enemy to make me feel that I am not worthy and I am not enough because LORD YOU love me for who I am and I will be the best that I am and I will be loved for who I am by my husband. I do not need to be somebody else for that man, because the man whom YOU chose for me will love me for who I am...even with my autism, even with my weirdness because true LOVE is unconditional and if Stephen doesn't love me because I'm not smart enough then it is his loss because nothing compares to the wisdom that YOU give to all YOUR daughters. LORD, I don't want to grieve anymore or be sad because I am not good enough for him. I want to be free from this pain and this feeling of inadequacy because YOU have loved me and I am loved for who I am by YOU. And I don't want to try to please him anymore, I want to please YOU so I pray release me from this love I have for him, do not hurt me anymore with these feelings O GOD, I pray release me, heal me and make me whole and happy once again because YOU love me O GOD! Please take care of me. For YOU deserve all of me and the best of me belongs to YOU!
In the Name of JESUS Amen!
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